homoneurotic: A pixel-art sprite of a clown. The clown is wearing red and yellow clothes, including a yellow cap. He has his left leg sticking out, on which a pokeball balances. Two more are balanced elsewhere, one on his head and one on his outstretched right leg. He bounces, the balls wiggle, but do not fall. (Default)
[personal profile] homoneurotic
For the past few days, I've been undergoing what I'll affectionately refer to as my "fandom midlife crisis". I've been churning out fanwork at a pace I haven't even attempted since 2016.

I've always been worried about feeling "included" in fandom culture. In all honesty, that fear hasn't been negated. It's a little embarrassing to sign up for these prompt challenges and bingo boards, only to have to request a "fandom: pokemon" tag be added. It feels a little bit like party crashing. I could care less for Marvel and Harry Potter, but I'll talk your ear off about my favorite Gym Leaders if you let me. But I think my drive to create content for characters I adore sparked something in me. My girlfriend joked that I'm going through my "autistic train phase" late (she is autistic, I am neurodivergent), which made me laugh. But it's true. Ever since getting diagnosed with ADHD, I've been kind of reckoning with the fact that I have a developmental disability. That's a huge deal! I now understand why I've always felt a little off kilter from others, or why my brain runs in such different tracks. I think something about that translated to the way I approach fandom.

Me and my girlfriend were reminiscing on how we both used fandom to cope in our teenage years, especially since they're going through a similar "crisis" at the moment with the Spiderman series. We agreed that it was sort of a "I have nothing else to look forward to in my life" sort of deal. But now that we have each other, and somewhat of a stable life, we not only have the time to engage in our passions, but a new appreciation of them.

Anyway, most of our conversations lately have devolved into us trading factoids about our respective franchises. Being neurodivergent is pretty sick.
 

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homoneurotic: A pixel-art sprite of a clown. The clown is wearing red and yellow clothes, including a yellow cap. He has his left leg sticking out, on which a pokeball balances. Two more are balanced elsewhere, one on his head and one on his outstretched right leg. He bounces, the balls wiggle, but do not fall. (Default)
homoneurotic

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