fandom midlife crisis
May. 4th, 2022 04:51 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
homoneuroticFor the past few days, I've been undergoing what I'll affectionately refer to as my "fandom midlife crisis". I've been churning out fanwork at a pace I haven't even attempted since 2016.
I've always been worried about feeling "included" in fandom culture. In all honesty, that fear hasn't been negated. It's a little embarrassing to sign up for these prompt challenges and bingo boards, only to have to request a "fandom: pokemon" tag be added. It feels a little bit like party crashing. I could care less for Marvel and Harry Potter, but I'll talk your ear off about my favorite Gym Leaders if you let me. But I think my drive to create content for characters I adore sparked something in me. My girlfriend joked that I'm going through my "autistic train phase" late (she is autistic, I am neurodivergent), which made me laugh. But it's true. Ever since getting diagnosed with ADHD, I've been kind of reckoning with the fact that I have a developmental disability. That's a huge deal! I now understand why I've always felt a little off kilter from others, or why my brain runs in such different tracks. I think something about that translated to the way I approach fandom.
Me and my girlfriend were reminiscing on how we both used fandom to cope in our teenage years, especially since they're going through a similar "crisis" at the moment with the Spiderman series. We agreed that it was sort of a "I have nothing else to look forward to in my life" sort of deal. But now that we have each other, and somewhat of a stable life, we not only have the time to engage in our passions, but a new appreciation of them.
Anyway, most of our conversations lately have devolved into us trading factoids about our respective franchises. Being neurodivergent is pretty sick.
I've always been worried about feeling "included" in fandom culture. In all honesty, that fear hasn't been negated. It's a little embarrassing to sign up for these prompt challenges and bingo boards, only to have to request a "fandom: pokemon" tag be added. It feels a little bit like party crashing. I could care less for Marvel and Harry Potter, but I'll talk your ear off about my favorite Gym Leaders if you let me. But I think my drive to create content for characters I adore sparked something in me. My girlfriend joked that I'm going through my "autistic train phase" late (she is autistic, I am neurodivergent), which made me laugh. But it's true. Ever since getting diagnosed with ADHD, I've been kind of reckoning with the fact that I have a developmental disability. That's a huge deal! I now understand why I've always felt a little off kilter from others, or why my brain runs in such different tracks. I think something about that translated to the way I approach fandom.
Me and my girlfriend were reminiscing on how we both used fandom to cope in our teenage years, especially since they're going through a similar "crisis" at the moment with the Spiderman series. We agreed that it was sort of a "I have nothing else to look forward to in my life" sort of deal. But now that we have each other, and somewhat of a stable life, we not only have the time to engage in our passions, but a new appreciation of them.
Anyway, most of our conversations lately have devolved into us trading factoids about our respective franchises. Being neurodivergent is pretty sick.
